Presentation on theme: "Mandala Essay Draft Revision."— Presentation transcript:
1 Mandala EssayDraft Revision
2 The Basics 7 Paragraphs 5 sentence minimum for each paragraph
IntroBody paragraphs for each symbolConclusion5 sentence minimum for each paragraphTYPED, Double Spaced, Times New RomanDUE: Wed. Nov. 26Submit orignal + typed version
3 Hook the Reader Every essay needs a great lead. Character description
Setting descriptionSummary statement
4 Character Description
Your mandala represents YOU so start with yourselfEX: “I will sleep with a clear conscience. I will sleep in peace.” These two lines from Sinead O’Connor’s song titled The Emperor’s New Clothes struck a chord in me the first time I heard them as a college student. These words sum up how I want live my life, no matter how much money I acquire, or how much success I attain.
5 Setting Description Start with a place that reveals YOU.
EX: When a guest enters my house, he/she is greeted by chili-pepper red walls that scream “Welcome.” There is no time to wait. All who enter must be ready for the excitement, challenges, or uncertainties that await. I don’t think I can ever paint this hall because that would be like painting over me.
6 Summary StatementWrite a statement about YOU that makes the reader think.EX: I’m the dog stalker. If there’s dog to greet and pet, I’m there. No silly sidewalk gets in my way. That’s just how I am in everything I do. I never let obstacles stand in my way.
7 Add Imagery Bring your story to life. Add sense details Sight Sound
8 Add Variety Start each sentence with a different word.
Write verb cluster sentencesCheck that sentences have a mix of lengths.Count the number of words!
9 Transitions Use transition words to connect each paragraph.
EX: First, next, however, in addition, etc.
10 AVOID “YOU” Autobiography = I
Avoid talking to the audience – they don’t talk back.Change all incorrect “you” formsTHINK: I, me, my, mine
11 End with a Bang Leave the reader thinking…
Snapshot – leave the reader with a pictureDialogue – leave the reader with famous last wordsThoughtshot– Final reflections on yourself.
[this, i hope, will be my teaching style if i ever become one: gentle, loving, no-nonsense & ruthless when writing marginal essay comments.]
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